We’re All Lonely - A Pandemic
Some of those relationships have probably faded and it’s going to take time to resuscitate them or build new ones,” Lazer says. “Some of it may be a reappraisal of who we want to be friends with. It takes a long time to make an old friend.” — P. Ramjug
I sat with a friend over coffee this past week and she shared with me that most of the women she interacts with often, women of varying ages, tell her they are lonely. Surrounded by their children, their significant others, their coworkers, their acquaintances, they feel alone.
This pandemic has stripped many people of many things. Not the least of them is in-person friendship, connection, face-to-face interaction, empathy in your friend’s eyes, a warm hug, a friend at your kitchen table, someone to offer you a moment’s respite from the crazy. These are the lucky ones. The lucky ones who notice the difference, who feel the loss, whose lives feel the disconnect, who feel the deep divide left in the pandemic’s wake.
For others, this pandemic has only underscored what they already knew — they feel alone. Their smiles are painted on. They feel loneliness at their core. They may even be secretly relieved that the rest of the world now feels the isolation with them. Longing for connection isn’t new to them. A genuine friend to share a laugh or a heart-to-heart with isn’t a new wish. Surely there is someone they could call when they’re in the bathroom hiding from their children again, eating the hidden stash of chocolate no one but their friend knows about…..isn’t there? It seems there isn’t. If there wasn’t before the pandemic, there certainly isn’t now.
I read an article this morning, written by Cigna, that said this:
“In 2018, Cigna conducted a large national online survey of U.S. adults to explore the impact of loneliness and found that loneliness was at epidemic levels. In 2019, our results showed that the mental health crisis is growing — three in five Americans (61%) report feeling lonely, compared to more than half (54%) in 2018.”
These numbers are pre-pandemic, friends.
It all leaves me asking God what He’s asking us to do. This isn’t ok. Surely, He wants better for us. If you wonder if someone needs a friend, odds are they do. If you think someone doesn’t need you, odds are you’re wrong. If you think sending someone a note or text every once in a while is meaningless, it’s probably not. If grabbing a dozen muffins at the bakery and sending six to your neighbor seems strange, maybe consider doing it anyway. If you know someone with small children at home, send her chocolate to stash away in her bathroom closet and write your phone # on it.
Be the one who thinks of ways.
“It takes a long time to make an old friend.” Let’s get started.
